story

My story: How I discovered my husband’s affair

I discovered the truth on Septemer 22, 2012. I guess the truth had been haunting me despite a happy marriage and three amazing children… there was something wrong. Funny thing is, I thought I was unhappy with my job or something. No idea that the root of my unhappiness, discontent and insecurity was stemming from […]

Cherry Blossom flower

Overcoming My Emotional Disconnection

When I was seventeen years old I would listen to this one U2 song on repeat with the volume maxed out in my car. My life was completely uncomplicated at seventeen. Yet there was something that drew me in to the soothing vibration from the car speakers. The blaring of the car stereo filled not […]

Infidelity Trax | Connect Me | Christopher Norman

I don’t know if this is necessary an infidelity track but there is something about this song that I relate to. The feeling of wanting to “stop living inside my head, chasing words that were never said.” room alight with sparks running up the wall / more static left to discharge diffusing it quietly i […]

Hold onto each other. Audrey Hepburn

Hysterical Bonding: Sex after the affair.

My morning routine has been the same since a week after D-Day. I lay in bed with my husband while each of our children prepare for school. They are old enough now to make their own breakfasts and pack their lunches. One-by-one they walk into the bedroom and kiss us good-bye for the day. As […]

be happy

Making friends with the monsters under my bed.

I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re trying to save me, stop holding your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy Well, that’s nothing Well, that’s nothing -Rihanna- After all these months, my pain isn’t simmering anymore. The scab […]

choices

Thoughts for today

I know it’s been a while since I last posted. I keep beginning to write and walking away. But today I was thinking about this journey and realizing how it all began. One of my biggest struggles over the past year (+) has been accepting that my marriage may not have been as perfect as […]

Infidelity Trax | Falling Slowly| Once |Glen Hansard & Marketa Iglova

I don’t know you but I want you all the more for that Words fall through me and always fool me and I can’t react And games that never amount to more than they’re meant Will play themselves out Take this sinking boat and point it home We’ve still got time Raise your hopeful voice […]

unexpected

The Unexpected Requires a Leap of Faith

I used to believe I knew exactly what I needed to make me happy. I thought I knew what to do to create my happy ending. There was a point where I believed I was living the fairytale life. The fairytale didn’t come easy though; I worked hard to get there and believed that my […]