story

My story: How I discovered my husband’s affair

I discovered the truth on Septemer 22, 2012. I guess the truth had been haunting me despite a happy marriage and three amazing children… there was something wrong. Funny thing is, I thought I was unhappy with my job or something. No idea that the root of my unhappiness, discontent and insecurity was stemming from […]

Infidelity Trax | I Wanna Get Better | The Bleachers

I heard this song a few months ago. I asked my husband to find the song and put it on my iPod. Little did I know he put the song on his own iPod too. He says this is his song now. He wants to get better. Hey, I hear the voice of a preacher […]

If-You-re-Going-Through-Hell-Winston-Churchill

The Triggers Aren’t Done With Me Yet

During the year following my D-Day triggers were expected. I hated them, but I expected them. I bought him new underwear so I didn’t have to think about Bat Shit’s hands pulling them down, touching him. I destroyed a pair of his jeans with a Leatherman because they aged to display the worn outline of the […]

Infidelity Trax | Coldplay | Fix You

I don’t think there’s another song out there that connected with me more than this song after D-Day. I recall listening to this song over and over again. Sobbing, tears streaming down my face and wanting nothing more than to be fixed and fearing I never would be.

Healing. Connection.

Filling the Void After His Affair

There is a tragic irony in the story of infidelity, or at least my story. My husband was drawn into his affair because he felt like something he and I once shared was gone. He displaced his insecurities on me, believing I was no longer attracted to him and that our diminished sex life was […]

lost and insecure

Insecurities & Infidelity

A million insecurities that had been long been buried deep inside me rose to the surface on D-Day. I would never classify myself as insecure or lacking confidence but I have doubts that linger under the surface just like anyone. In the moment I discovered my husband’s affair all those doubts and insecurities became true. […]

Infidelity Trax | Ingrid Michaelson | Sort Of

Baby, you’ve got the sort of hands to rip me apart And baby, you’ve got the sort of face to start this old heart But your eyes are warning me this early morning That my love’s too big for you my love Baby, you’ve got the sort of laugh that waters me And makes me […]

Still learning quote

Navigating

I followed the sound of the hockey game into our bedroom last night. It’s the NHL playoffs and our home team was playing. I would never label myself a hockey fan but when you live in Boston you inherently become a Patriots/Red Sox/Celtics/Bruins fan. I stepped into the bedroom and saw my husband folding laundry […]

Hope

Nineteen Months and Counting

Maybe the journey isn’t about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. I’ve been trying to compose this post for three days. I type and then delete all the letters with one long press of the backspace […]