I am in need of some advice from all of you. I never sent that letter to my husband’s AP. I realized that she wouldn’t actually hear what I was saying and the intention of my letter may have been lost on her. I am over the letter but I still feel like my husband never got the last word in with her.
When he called her after D-Day to tell her it was OVER–she wouldn’t let him talk. She said something to the nature of: I won’t call you or go to your business when you are there. I will not communicate with you, etc, etc, etc. It really bothered me that she didn’t allow my husband to be the one to say everything. It didn’t bother my husband at the time but once I explained that the affair began on her terms and now it ended with her not allowing you to have control–I feel like she did that intentionally. To take away his power.
For the most part all communication did end, EXCEPT for one thing. My husband’s business has an association with the business she works for and she sends out all email correspondences for this business. My husband removed his email address from the automatic mass email list but his AP continues to add his name on email invitations to meetings and events. We have his email set up to filter out these emails and delete them. But we still see that they are coming in–and sometimes on a daily basis or more.
So the other night after cleaning out the filtered emails from her I asked my husband is it possible to send her a nasty email about why the F*** she is still including his name on her email list? We went through all our options and tried to find out if we could have all her emails automatically returned to her but it doesn’t look like gmail will do that. Unless one of you can help me out?
So the question is should my husband and I craft an email response to her that gets across the point that he doesn’t want to see any emails from her in his inbox/trash/spam/etc ever again? We came up with a short, three sentence email that got the point across in a tone that could not be confused with anything else but the underlying message: I HATE YOU.
Or is it best to just let it go?
As a side note, I haven’t googled his AP or checked anything online about her in almost two weeks. I am trying to not let her bother me. But I think it is worth noting at Christmas I found a pin of hers on Pinterest that seemed to be directed at me (even my husband agreed it looked that way). It was a quote about if you feel the need to talk about other people you must be insecure. It wasn’t the quote that got me it was her comment under the pin that was directed at me. I can’t recall exactly but she said but she said something like: “If you feel the need to put me down you must recognize your own shortcomings and why he needed me.” The comment obviously made me upset but my husband was amazing the way he reacted and comforted me. He assured me that I have never had any shortcomings and it was him that fell short. But he was also angered that his AP doesn’t seem to recognize the pain she has already inflicted on me and our family. She doesn’t seem to be remorseful or have any guilt for her part in the affair. I think it was a big AHA moment. Because he realized who she really is inside and how fooled he was by her always saying she cared about me and our children (she even said this to me in an email after d-day). It doesn’t excuse his choices–but she is evil. Sometimes I just want her heart to break and hurt like she caused mine.