Put your burdens down

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

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Put your burdens down

11 thoughts on “Put your burdens down

  1. I expect a lot of us don’t know how to set our burdens down anymore. I used to go home to do just that. Go home and chill out with my wife, home was my safe place, my shelter and now it’s not. I know it will be again but right now I don’t feel like I have a place where that is possible. I am trying but it’s not easy and you are right, every day it gets heavier. I just keep telling myself “One more day…”

  2. Pingback: How heavy is your glass of water? – T.S. |

  3. I just finished reading all your posts and they are really great and informative!! Your story is very much like mine. Thank you so much!!! Do you go to any support groups??? Looking for one in my area, the only one is an hour & a half away!! I went a few times and found it really helpful!! Looking forward to more of your writing!!

    • Hi,
      I haven’t yet been ale to go to a support group. I would really like to start going and try one out. The closest one to me is actually in the town where my husband’s AP lives (ironic?).
      Thank you for our comment. How long since your D-Day? How are you doing?

  4. My husband had an emotional affair two years ago. We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. The path to healing was very bumpy, but our marriage is now better than ever. He was willing to do whatever it took to make it up to me. I’m grateful to my therapist, and to a therapist friend who recommended we do “Getting the Love you Want” by Harville Hendrix. Both saved our marriage, and we are now more in love than ever, and it keeps getting better. I still hurt at times, but I put down the glass, be in the moment, and surround myself with how much better my life is now than ever before. I hope you are there or get to that place.

    • I do feel like I am progressing but there are still times I wonder were this is all taking me. I’ll check out “Getting the Love You Want” program you suggested. I am interested in not just healing but becoming a better version of myself once I reach the other side. Thanks for the words of hope, they mean a lot to me.

    • Tell me, SanityNow, how long did it take for him to stop wanting her? My D-Day was five months ago. He’s staying because he loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me, but I think he loves her and wants to be with her. I’ve just decided that I’m tired of being the only one trying, the only one touching in bed, initiating sex, and sex BTW is not that good, he can’t seem to keep it hard enough long enough…what does that tell you? I’m tired of being so nice and accommodating, and suggesting fun places to go and fun things to do. I’m ready to put my burden down, either he’s going to try or we’re not going to make it. We’ve been together 25 years, and he recently bumped into a girlfriend from 35 years ago, he always referred to her as his “heart throb”. Well, “heart throb” is also as unhappily married as he thought he was. They talked for two months, saw each other 3 or 4 times, kissed but not sex. They declared they’re love for each other and started planning a future together. When I found her picture in his wallet the shit hit the fan, he was ready to leave, she and I, while talking on the phone, decided he should stay. So, he’s here, not because he wants to be, but because he doesn’t want to hurt me. Is that enough?? I’m thinking it’s not. I know it’s only five months, but I’m struggling. Any advice?

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