Infidelity Trax | Daughter | Medicine

Pick it up, pick it all up.
And start again.
You’ve got a second chance,
you could go home.
Escape it all.
It’s just irrelevant.

It’s just medicine.
It’s just medicine.

You could still be,
what you want to,
What you said you were,
when I met you.

You’ve got a warm heart,
you’ve got a beautiful brain.
But it’s disintegrating,
from all the medicine.
from all the medicine.
from all the medicine.
Medicine.

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7 thoughts on “Infidelity Trax | Daughter | Medicine

    • Hi Nadja,
      I don’t know when you found out about your husband’s affair but I am going to guess that it was fairly recent. I felt broken and like everything was destroyed in the wake of my discovery. I didn’t know what to do because I felt like everything I believed was a lie. With time I was able to gain perspective and take back control of my life. You didn’t do anything wrong–don’t blame yourself. Try to focus on taking care of yourself, find an activity that relieves your mind from constantly dwelling on the affair and try to figure out why he cheated.
      There is a lot of sadness that comes in finding out about a spouse’s affair… but don’t let it consume you–because it will try. If you can’t talk to your husband, find someone you can talk to openly. Someone who won’t tell you what to do but rather listen.
      I am sending you hugs… You will make it through.

      • Well I randomly found out through pictures on his phone. We were innocently taking pictures of one of our youngest sons and my new born. When I scrolled over to review them together is when I found the naked pictures of my husband. I lost my mind. I just had my son 2 weeks prior from an emergency c section. Not only was I phiscally hurt but now mentally broken. He ended up lying about a lot of things through out our marriage. He had met her at work. He is a Sous Chef. She knew he was married. He was seikng her during the last months of my pregnancy, sleeping with her inprotected. They had a pregnacy scare. They slept with each other in our car. I even spoke with her and listened to her side of the affair. He said he broke it off that day. But I ended up finding out he lied and was still seeing her. That week he left home. With all his belongings because I have him an ultimatum. He chose her over his family. Then after a week of not allowing him to contact me or the children he begged to come back home. I have him conditions only through consul. And quitting that job and truly never speaking to her again.
        There is so much more to this story but I’m sure you have heard it all. He has done so far everything I asked bit everyday for me I question how do people make it through. Your story is giving me hope and I find strength in your experiences and blog. I thank you for the tools while going through this. It’s seeing myself through your words and experiences.
        Thank you for opening up.
        I truly love your spirit for that.
        Naj

      • I am so sorry. Some days will be hard to get through and the triggers will make the struggle seem unsurmountable, but you will slowly have better days. Don’t be discouraged by the triggers and haunting details. Distract yourself with your children when something really stings in your mind–don’t let it simmer and continue to hurt you. My therapist once told me that recalling details of the affair are akin to a PTSD victim recalling their trauma–it brings you emotionally right back to the moment of discovery and it hurts just the same. Regardless of what happens with your marriage–you need to be ok and heal. I am glad that you are taking control and giving him conditions. When you are ready read some of the books out there on affairs and recovery (Not Just Friends). And ask your husband to read the book How to Help Your Spouse Heal After Your Affair. The book is succinct and to the point and written for men that have cheated. Many men think they chose the affair selfishly and it wasn’t about you or your kids. They don’t understand their behavior outside the marriage affects everyone in their family. It seems so simple–but many men don’t think this way naturally.
        Thanks for reading my blog… I am a bit stuck on thoughts to write about but I’ll keep them coming. 🙂

  1. My d-day is broken up into a couple of months. I’m broken inside, I’m on antidepressants that help take a majority of my feelings away. …I just want my old self back! How and where does one even start doing that. I really dont care if my husband wants a divorce, I have decided that he didn’t care enough for me when he decided to sleep with another women, why should I care how he feels….I just really want”Me” back.

    • Hi Brooke,
      It’s a slow process but you need to put yourself first. Do things for you every day. Don’t crawl in that hole and hide. Keep living despite your fear, pain and sadness. You will be ok. For a long time there was a part of me that I felt was damaged by my husband’s affair. But after a long time I realized it wasn’t ever a part of me, it was ideas and beliefs that I thought were real. Separating the action from the person can sometimes be helpful too. I hope you are taking small steps forward to finding yourself.

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