Infidelity Trax | Missed the Boat | Modest Mouse

While we’re on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear’s door but you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last

Everyone’s unhappy
Everyone’s ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else’s page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying yes, this is a fine promotion
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell

Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
We just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain
At least I’m pretty sure I am
Well we didn’t need the water
But we just built that good God dam

Oh, and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We’ve listened more to life’s end gong
Than the sound of life’s sweet bliss

Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well we knew we missed the boat
And we’d already missed the plane
We didn’t read the invite
We just dance at our wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves

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7 thoughts on “Infidelity Trax | Missed the Boat | Modest Mouse

  1. Hello. I wanted to share something with you. I found your blog after I discovered my husband’s affair. (July 6th 2013 was the day my world crashed at my feet.) Your blog really helped me so much some days and some days I would see that you had posted and I could not bear to read your entries because my pain was so deep that day for whatever reason…stupid triggers.

    Here is what I wanted to share. My husband cheated, I found out about it, we separated for a couple of months, we “reconciled”, we worked hard on our relationship, we lived under the same roof for 4 more months and had some really wonderful times, the affair kept eating at me, we separated again in February of 2014, we “talked” off and on about possibly trying to work things out again…..we had time to take it slow, right? All the time in the world to be happy again eventually, right? Wrong.

    My husband passed away on October 12th of a brain aneurysm…age 37…leaving me and our two children ages 7 and 9 behind forever. If I could talk to the me of a few months ago when my husband was still here I would say. If you truly love him….and you forgive him….the only thing that matters is him. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I would give anything in my power to get a few of those days back that I spend wallowing in my pain and shutting him out and I would hold him in my arms. While he was lying in the bed unresponsive in ICU it was too late for me to say all I needed and wanted to say. I hope you savor every moment you have with your husband. The only significant thing on this planet are the relationships in your life and the memories you make. Make them good. Let go of the bad….and let him let go as well.

    I hope your journey has a happy ending. I hope your healing continues and I hope when you read this you will feel the urge to hold him a little tighter. You still have him. Your children still have their father. I would give anything to have that. Anything.

  2. This hit my heart deep on a day I was “wallowing” even after so many months. Thank you for helping me to step way back and know what really matters in this very short life.

  3. Joy,
    This made me cry, you are right…….. We have the chance to make things right and we keep wasting much time. We never know what the next hour brings.
    I’m so sorry for you and your children.

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