As I write this blog some of you comment. Some of you ask me questions and I humbly try to offer advice to questions that may have no answer. I’ve learned it’s impossible to judge another person’s decisions and where they are in their life. For so long I was just trying to get through each day until I knew I could survive a week. I was just hoping I was making the right decisions for myself and my children. But it’s hard to know what is right or wrong when your entire world has been turned upside-down.
Learning to trust myself again was probably more difficult than trusting my husband again. I have struggle to decide what I want to eat for lunch every day and now I was faced with life-changing decisions. Decisions that no one wants to be forced to make. And here I was broken, sad, upset, angry. And these decisions were looming over me every day:
Do I stay in this marriage?
Do I leave?
Do I ask him to leave?
Can I survive this?
The list of questions went on and on. And, honestly, I don’t think I ever had an answer. So I just kept going. I figured that if there was an answer it would be apparent. It would smack me in the face and I would just know.
Eventually, what I came to believe is that I shouldn’t make decisions that will alter my life in my lowest moments. Maybe it works both ways? Highs and lows just aren’t reality. We shouldn’t change our entire lives on the worst day of our life. Maybe it can inspire change and growth. Maybe we can learn to move forward, upward, or onward.
I’m glad I didn’t abandon my marriage after D-day because my marriage has grown. I’ve grown and changed too.
So if you are trying to figure out the answer to that question, whether you stay or go, don’t focus on all the negative or just the positive. Focus on right now. What you need in this moment. Sometimes the answers are found in the midst of our silence.