Infidelity Trax | Little Do You Know | Alex & Siera

I am sitting at my desk and this song just began playing on my Pandora. And even luckier for me, the lyrics were right there on the screen for me. How could this song be about anything else besides infidelity?

Little Do You Know by Alex & Siera

Little do you know
How I’m breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I’m still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece

Little do you know
I need a little more time

Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside
I’ve been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight

Little do you know
I need a little more time

I’ll wait, I’ll wait
I love you like you’ve never felt the pain,
I’ll wait
I promise you don’t have to be afraid,
I’ll wait
The love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me

Little do you know
I know you’re hurting while I’m sound asleep
Little do you know
All my mistakes are slowly drowning me
Little do you know
I’m trying to make it better piece by piece

Little do you know
I, I love you ’til the sun dies

Oh wait, just wait
I love you like I’ve never felt the pain,
Just wait
I love you like I’ve never been afraid,
Just wait
Our love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me

I’ll wait (I’ll wait), I’ll wait (I’ll wait)
I love you like you’ve never felt the pain,
I’ll wait (I’ll wait)
I promise you don’t have to be afraid,
I’ll wait
The love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me
Lay your head on me
So lay your head on me

‘Cause little do you know
I, I love you ’til the sun dies

Infidelity Trax | This is My Fight Song | Rachel Patton

How could I not include this song on my blog?

We’re all fighting for something. Our happiness, our marriages, our lives, freedom.

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years
I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
And I still believe
Yeah I still believe

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong)
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Now I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Infidelity Trax | Katy Perry | Unconditionally

Is it possible to love another person unconditionally? Maybe forgiving my husband for his affair is a symptom of loving him unconditionally. Or, perhaps, loving myself unconditionally is the answer.

I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it.

Audrey Hepburn

Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see what’s really on the inside?
All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

Come just as you are to me
Don’t need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I’ll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I love you, I love you

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

So open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart

Acceptance is the key to be
To be truly free
Will you do the same for me?

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
And there is no fear now
Let go and just be free
‘Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh yeah)
I will love you (unconditionally)
I will love you
I will love you unconditionally

Mother’s Day Wishes | Infidelity Trax | Britt Nicole | The Sun is Rising

It’s so easy to focus on what is lost, what is missing, and the hurt. When I woke up this morning, on Mother’s Day, I was alone. My husband was snoring away and my children were still asleep in bed. The dog needed to go out so I threw on some yoga pants and took him out for a walk. I was awake now so when I came back inside I made coffee and sat down with a pile of magazines and my phone. I figured if I was going to have some quiet time to myself I might as well catch up on all the magazines collecting dust on my coffee table. As I thumbed through Real Simple I started to feel lonely. I wasn’t enjoying the solitude of having a moment to myself. Instead my mind was wandering away and I felt not just lonely, but alone.

I am not a fan of a quiet, slow, relaxing day. I like being on the go. I like being surrounded by chaos and the constant chatter of my children. I like that my kids enjoy spending time with me and together. So I turned on the TV and started to make noise to wake up the household and pull myself out of my funk. Mother’s Day is no time to feel alone or sad. We should be excited, happy, and looking forward to whatever the day has in store.

I want to restore genuine sense of happiness within me. I don’t want to be reaching for moments or sinking into a funk of self-pity. I want to appreciate my life and, moreover, myself. I read an article the other day about traits that “happy” people have in common. It was one of those articles shared on Facebook that I usually scroll right past in my feed but this time I stopped and clicked on it. I think the list is a good one and here is a snapshot of the nine traits of happy people.

  1. Love Themselves For Who They Are
  2. See Relationships As An Extension To, Rather Than The Basis Of The Human Experience
  3. Embrace Change
  4. Celebrate Rather Than Compare Themselves To The Accomplishments Of Others
  5. Never Dwell In Being A Victim
  6. They Live In The Present
  7. Trust That Everything Happens For A Reason
  8. They Don’t Let Money Dictate Their Lives
  9. Look Within For Solutions

I wish you all a wonderful Mother’s Day and wish you happiness. Genuine happiness in the face of whatever you are facing today.

What Will Never Be | Scott & Zelda | Tiny Victories

Yesterday I had a crappy day. I was in a cruddy mood from the start and it never really improved from there. My sour mood had nothing to do with all of this (the affair) but somehow by the end of the day it was all I could focus on. I stood in my kitchen waiting for the teakettle water to boil and all I could focus on was this lingering feeling of needing something I’ll never get. Or maybe something I’ll never get back.

Last night, I was mulling over this thought that has floated through my brain on more than one occasion. I have this fantasy that someone who knows me would say that they would never cheat on me; that someone could just tell me that to them I worth more than any affair. I just want to believe I am worth more to someone. I know how I feel doesn’t make sense but none of what has happened is based on rational thought. There’s a part of me that wants this impossible validation. Add this to the list of things lost in the affair.

What would never beI was listening to this song, Scott & Zelda by Tiny Victories, in my car yesterday while picking up my son from school. The lyrics seemed to hit the nail on the head for me. The song is about F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife, Zelda. At the beginning of their relationship they were young, beautiful, and full of life. Their relationship and life started out with dreams and aspirations to build a better life through art. They began their lives, but then Scott’s fame and fortune started to destroy and screw with their lives. Zelda ended up going crazy and dying in a fire in an insane asylum. Scott drank himself to death. Tiny Victories said in an interview this song is about whether you can escape your fate.

Well we were flying down the road
and you were telling me about your past life
You were Zelda I was Scott
And all we ever did was drink champagne and fight
You said that’s how it goes
I guess it’s alright
That we just waste the best years of our lives
I said well I don’t know
Yeah, maybe you’re right
But if the good years
the bad bad years are out of sight
And I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
Well I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
And later on we went up to the roof
And drank some jack and coke without the coke
Tangled up in some old story
Lost the plot and ended up in the same old joke
That’s how it goes
I guess it’s alright
You have something and you lose it for the rest of your life
Yeah, I don’t know
I guess that’s right
Cuz if you lose yourself enough
then being lost will feel alright
And I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
No I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
Come on and let me down
One last time
One last time
Come on and let me down
One last time
Well I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
No I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore
Get a little colder every year
Get a little colder every year
No I don’t know myself anymore
No I don’t know myself anymore

 

Infidelity Trax | Prayer in C | Lilly Wood & The Prick and Robin Schulz

Prayer in C by Lilly Wood & The Prick and Robin Schulz

This song has been on my iPod for about six months but just a month ago I became obsessed with it. I click through my iPod some days until I find it and then leave it on repeat. Out of curiosity I looked up the meaning of the lyrics because they seemed to speak to me. The song (according to my sources) is a prayer to an absent God that allowed evil to happen.

It’s an angry, bitter prayer and it’s in my head constantly these days.

Jah, you never said a word
You didn’t send me no letter
Don’t think I could forgive you

See our world is slowly dying
I’m not wasting no more time
Don’t think I could believe you

Jah, our hands will get more wrinkled
And our hair will be grey
Don’t think I could forgive you

And see the children are starving
And their houses were destroyed
Don’t think they could forgive you

Hey, when seas will cover lands
And when men will be no more
Don’t think you can forgive you

Jah when there’ll just be silence
And when life will be over
Don’t think you will forgive you

Infidelity Trax | Skyscraper | Demi Lovato

Skyscraper | Demi Lovato

Skies are crying, I am watching

Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence as it’s ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There’s nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I’m standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run
I’m gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear
Yeah, oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it’s a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

(Like a skyscraper)

Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Infidelity Trax | Missed the Boat | Modest Mouse

While we’re on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear’s door but you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last

Everyone’s unhappy
Everyone’s ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else’s page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying yes, this is a fine promotion
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell

Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
We just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain
At least I’m pretty sure I am
Well we didn’t need the water
But we just built that good God dam

Oh, and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We’ve listened more to life’s end gong
Than the sound of life’s sweet bliss

Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well we knew we missed the boat
And we’d already missed the plane
We didn’t read the invite
We just dance at our wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves