story

My story: How I discovered my husband’s affair

I discovered the truth on Septemer 22, 2012. I guess the truth had been haunting me despite a happy marriage and three amazing children… there was something wrong. Funny thing is, I thought I was unhappy with my job or something. No idea that the root of my unhappiness, discontent and insecurity was stemming from […]

resentment

Am I harboring resentment from the way he treated me during his affair?

The primal questions of a marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other? What will we do?  -Nick Dunne, Gone Girl Movie Last night my husband and I watched Gone Girl. I started reading the book the summer before my D-day, but for some reason I never […]

sigmond freud quote

What if he really did love her?

This post may not be what you want to read if you recently discovered your husband’s affair or are within the first six months after D-day. Immediately after my D-day I hated Bat Shit and I wanted my husband to hate her too. I’ve never hated anyone like I hated her. I wanted to destroy […]

Healing after my husband's affair

Trying to Find the Next Step

As I write this blog some of you comment. Some of you ask me questions and I humbly try to offer advice to questions that may have no answer. I’ve learned it’s impossible to judge another person’s decisions and where they are in their life. For so long I was just trying to get through […]

in the end...

What Will Never Be | Scott & Zelda | Tiny Victories

Yesterday I had a crappy day. I was in a cruddy mood from the start and it never really improved from there. My sour mood had nothing to do with all of this (the affair) but somehow by the end of the day it was all I could focus on. I stood in my kitchen […]

charles bukowski

Love. Marriage. Affair. Survival. Love.

Last week I was invited to join a group of psychiatrists for dinner. The topic for the evening was bipolar disorder. There was a doctor presenting that night and he was discussing symptoms and medications to treat bipolar disorder. He acknowledged that he had been diagnosed as bipolar at the beginning of his career, giving […]

Trust in each step

Trusting Each Step

Do you ever feel like this shadow washes over your day? Sometimes darkness comes over me and I feel myself sink deep inside. All my insecurities start to surface and I see my life differently. Or I see my life through a different lens. It’s sad and full of doubt. My thoughts lead me through […]